


Mckinley Skins

by emmisaysmufasa



Category: Glee, Skins (UK)
Genre: Alcohol Mentions, F/F, F/M, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbophobia, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Naomi/Emily, Suicide Attempt, but also lots of music, pretty angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-06 14:43:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 10,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11602770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmisaysmufasa/pseuds/emmisaysmufasa
Summary: The Skins gen 2 cast in a Glee AUI'm very sorry





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is just for fun, not affiliated with skins nor glee creators, etc etc. no profit, i just apologise for writing this cursed thing.

PART ONE: EMILY FITCH 

It was the first day of sophomore year at Mckinley High, and the halls were buzzing.  
Cheerios walked past the hall in groups, chattering excitedly about the new season, girls gossiped by lockers, and the jocks were posturing by them, pretending not to want their attention.  
Emily Fitch stood still, and drank it all in.  
it was her first day at Mckinley, and her twin sister, Katie, had already abandoned her to chat with a group of girls. Quickly, everything became overwhelming, and she made her way out to the courtyard for air, slamming into a tall girl with dark eyeliner, a shorter girl standing next to her.  
Emily opened her mouth to apologise, but the girl rolled her eyes.  
“Whatever. Just be careful, yeah?”  
Before Emily could say anything, the girl was gone, her friend following her.  
Okay. She’d survived her first collision. Now just a few hundred more to get through, knowing her clumsiness.  
The bell rang, and people started wandering to classrooms. On her way to her science class, Emily noticed a piece of paper on the noticeboard.  
“Mckinley High Glee Club signups.”  
Listed were the names, “Ben Dover, Deez Nutz, Harry Scrotum, Pandora Moon-”  
Hey, wait. An actual name?  
Emily always wanted to join a glee club, but never had the guts to try out. But maybe...\  
Trembling, and aware she was late to class, she pulled out a pen and shakily wrote “Emily Fitch.”

“What the hell?”  
Emily looked up from her homework, confused. “What?”  
“Glee club?” Katie spat. “You might as well join the chess club, like that loser JJ.”  
“Who’s JJ-”  
“That’s not the point! The point is that you’re committing suicide, on your first day.” Katie’s voice softened. “Em. I’ve always looked out for you, haven’t i? But look, we’re sophomores. I need to grow. I need to do things by myself, without a shadow.”  
Emily looked down, cheeks burning.  
It wasn’t as though Emily loved being bossed around by Katie, it was just… easier than the alternative.  
“Okay, Em?”  
Emily looked up, decision made. “Okay.”

Emily walked into the auditorium, heart pounding.  
She saw a teacher, in the seats, with a pen and notepad.  
Shit. Pen and notepad?  
How serious was this?  
She took a breath. Okay.  
“I’m Emily Fitch, and I’ll be singing Human, by Christina Perri.”

Emily managed to keep her audition a secret for all of two days, before the list of official members of the New Directions was posted in the hall. 

NEW DIRECTIONS 2009:

PANDORA MOON  
THOMAS TOMONE  
EMILY FITCH  
STONER BRETT  
JJ JONES  
ELIZABETH STONEM

The first meeting was awkward. Emily sat in her chair in the choir-room, among a tough looking black guy, a passed-out looking stoner, a boy who was fiddling with a pencil, and the friend of the girl Emily bumped into her first day.  
“Well,” Miss Long said. “Here we are, then. We need 12 members to participate in competitions such as sectionals, but this is a good start. How about we all share our names?”  
The door suddenly burst open, and a girl walked in. As she took a seat, Emily recognized her as the girl she’d bumped into just days before.  
“Oh, Elizabeth! Glad you could make it!”  
Any other teacher might sound sarcastic, but Miss Long sounded genuine, if not a little desperate.  
“Sorry, Jose. I had to talk to Mr Schue.”  
“That’s alright! Though, Miss Long, in here, please.”  
“Sure,” the girl said.  
“Now, as i was saying, maybe we could all give a brief introduction? Maybe your name, and your favourite musical artist?”  
The room was silent.  
“Okay. Well, I’m Josie Long, and I just love The Bangles!”  
“I’m Stoner Brett, and my favourite song is Busters Get Popped.”  
“I’m Thomas, and I like classical music.”  
“I’m Pandora. I’m useless.”  
“Effy. Classic rock, mostly.”  
“Hello, I’m JJ, which stands for Jonah Jeremiah, I’m not usually a huge participant in musical activities, however my mother wants me to be more involved, therefore i joined this club.”  
Finally, Emily was left.  
“I’m Emily, and uh, I’ll usually listen to whatever my sister’s playing.”  
JJ frowned. “Wait, you’re Katie’s twin?”  
“Yes.”  
“Oh wow. I haven’t met twins before. Though statistics say that one person is likely to meet-”  
“Okay, attention!” Josie said, awkwardly.  
JJ stopped talking.  
“Now we all know a bit about each other, i thought we could practice one of my favourite songs!”  
It was awful. Absolutely atrocious. Anything that could go wrong, did. They were singing over each other, in the wrong keys, all at once, and afterwards, Josie winced and clapped a little.  
Emily left the room feeling humiliated.


	2. Chapter 2

A new week brought a new beginning- except that when Emily entered the choir room, no one was there but Josie.   
Alright then, she would have to get them back, or find more members. how hard could it be?

Answer: very hard. nearly every sheet she put up was defaced, and she was too shy to talk to anyone. but she knew who wasn't...  
"No."  
"But Kate-"  
"No. I'm not going to stick my neck out for some lame club. I'm just getting friends- and there's this guy Freddie, who i think might-"  
"Katie. Please. This is important to me." Emily lowered her voice and spoke using their secret twin language, that they'd created when they were kids.   
Katie looked conflicted, but it was something.

Emily was walking down the corridors, feeling dejected, when someone walked over to her purposefully.   
"You're Emily Fitch, right?"   
Emily glanced over and was struck with... something.   
She was tall, with a shaggy, bleached bob cut, and she had sky-blue eyes.   
Emily could feel her cheeks reddening as she searched for words. Be normal. Speak.  
"Uh, yeah. I'm Em- that's me."  
"I want to talk to you about the glee club."  
"I- what? Why are you asking me?"  
"Josie quit, predictably. You're the only one who still gives a shit."  
"Why do you want me to-"  
"It looks good on college applications, doesn't it? If we win a few competitions, at least."  
"I don't think anyone else cares. And we need four members-"  
"So we persuade people. Come on. I'm in your English class, I see you work at things. If anyone can do it, you can."  
A weird sense of pride washed over Emily. She was right. She wanted this. Why shouldn't she try?  
"Okay."   
"Great. I'll message you later about it, okay?"  
"Sure. I'll give you my number. Hang on," Emily fumbled with her bag, and found a pen.   
"I don't really have any paper, um,"  
"You can just write it on my hand," the girl offered.   
"Your- yes."   
Emily started to write on the girls outstretched hand, but couldn't write firmly enough. She reached out to steady it, and the girl shot back.  
"Sorry, I just- can't write it-"  
"Oh, right. Yeah, okay. Sorry." She held her hand out again, and Emily gripped it with one of her own, while writing the numbers.   
Her hand was warm, but not sweaty, and Emily couldn't help but blush a little.   
When she was finished, she looked up at the girl, forgetting to let go at first. Then she realised and let go quickly, shoving her pen in her pocket.   
"Okay."  
"Cool."  
Emily looked at the hand she held the girl's with, and couldn't help smiling a bit, as she walked away. what was that all about?


	3. Chapter 3

Emily started with JJ. He seemed the most likely to be awkward about the situation, but more likely to agree to rejoin the glee club.  
She caught him outside Health, and talked to him.  
"Hey, JJ."  
"Katie- Emily!"  
"How could you tell?"  
"Something about your stance. Not as confident."  
Emily bit her lip. She needed more confidence.  
"JJ, would you think about rejoining the New Directions?"  
JJ stared at her for a few seconds, then shook his head. "No. That was a disaster. I never should have joined in the first place, my father was right, I never should-"  
"JJ." Emily said, reaching out and touching his shoulder to steady him. He was nearly hyperventilating.   
JJ looked at Emily's hand, then back at Emily, and took a breath.   
"I'm sorry."  
"It's okay. Look, we just really need to do this. I know we sucked, but we can grow, and learn, you know?"  
"Why are you so insistent?"  
Emily thought back to the girl's smile when she said she'd help, and blushed a little.   
"I think it'd be something to do, with my year. I'm not like Katie. I can't dance, I can't be like her friends, I can't fit in. But maybe I can do this."  
"I'm not even that good at singing."  
"So we'll put you in the back."  
"Of who?" JJ asked, a little bitterly.  
"We can find more members. I know it."  
JJ frowned and continued fiddling with his zipper.   
"Okay."

Thomas was harder to find, but easier to persuade.   
"I love music," he said. "If we can find more people who care enough, it can be beautiful."  
Emily decided not to bother asking Stoner Brett, because honestly, he kind of scared her.   
Next she made her way to the biggest part of the school.  
The cafeteria.  
Which actually wasn't that big when she went in, not as scary as it had been in her head. She saw Katie's table immediately, and went over, ignoring the strange look from a girl at the table.   
"Katie."  
"Em, what are you doing here? I told you, I can't always-"  
"It's about the glee club."  
"Oh my god, Em, give it a rest. No one's joining your pathetic glee club!"  
"I might," piped up a guy across from her.  
"What?"  
"I mean, there's gotta be some fit girls in the showchoir industry, yeah?"  
"Bit gay, if you ask me."  
"Hey, it's me expressing fucking emotion, picking up hot babes. How's that gay?"  
the table went quiet, thoughtful.  
"I'm in," the guy next to him said.   
"Me too," came a familiar voice, and Emily turned to see Effy coming to the table, with a tray.   
She smiled a little awkwardly at Emily. "Look, I'm sorry i blew it off. I'll give it a chance, okay?"  
Pandora, standing next to her, nodded. "Sounds wizard! Plus, if that guy Thomas is in..."  
Effy rolled her eyes.  
"Okay. So. we're doing this."


	4. Chapter 4

NEW DIRECTIONS MEMBERS 2017

EMILY FITCH  
JJ JONES  
EFFY STONEM  
THOMAS TOMONE  
PANDORA MOON  
NAOMI CAMPBELL  
JAMES COOK  
FREDDIE MCLAIR

Emily was walking to her locker after history, when Mr Schuester walked over to her.   
"Hey, Emily Fitch, right?"  
"Uh, yeah."  
"I wanted to talk to you about taking over the New Directions.  
"Oh. Um, okay... how come?"  
"I was in my high school glee club, and i've participated in many competitons. In fact, I met my wife in glee club. It's a great place to make friends and discover yourself, and find a place to be yourself with people who love the same thing as you."  
"Alright."  
"Do you want me to show you some tapes from my own competitions?"  
"No, we'll be fine."  
"I insist."

Two days later, Emily sat with her fellow New Directions members, watching perhaps the most outdated performance of the century. While the music wasn't Emily's style, she had to admit Mr Schue had a lot of energy, and pure passion for music. Maybe he was just what they needed. the door creaked as it opened, and Emily looked up, pretty sure it was the girl she'd let talk her into reviving the glee club. She was pretty sure she was the Naomi Campbell on the official list, but they had barely talked since Emily informed her of the triumph in the cafeteria. Instead, a taller woman entered. For some reason, the entire room felt suddenly sucked of energy. She had short blonde hair, a tracksuit, and a determined scowl on her face. She walked past Pandora, and took the cup she was drinking from, and crushed it.   
"Sue," Mr Schuester said, "Good to see you! I was just showing the glee club-"  
"Will Schuester. I hoped we could be friends. However you had to go behind my back, and take on a team of sexually confused misfits, clearly hoping to undermine my star cheerios."  
Mr Schuester opened his mouth, but Sue interrupted him again.  
"I can assure you, i will not let that happen. I will crush this glee club, like a cockroach, with a shell made of edgy, eyeliner wearing, pencil fiddling losers."  
Effy rolled her eyes, and JJ dropped his pencil.  
"Sue-"  
"I gave you the chance to be my friend, Will. But now, you and your grotesque buttchin give me no choice. I will destroy you." With that, she took the remote and turned off the projector, and stormed out, dumping Pandora's crushed smoothie cup in the rubbish on the way.  
"Who was that?" Emily asked, shakily.  
"That was Sue Sylvester," Mr Schue said wearily. "The coach of the Cheerios."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first choir-room Drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the lyrics used in this scene are from Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved."

"Hey team!" Mr Shcuester said, running into the choir-room eagerly. "Let's start brainstorming ideas for sectionals!"  
He was met with a sea of glum faces.   
"Come on guys, you know better than to let bullies like Sue get to you."  
"Actually, we don't," JJ said folornly.   
Mr Schue frowned a little, then brightened up. �"Okay. We're going to start our weekly assignment, then." He crossed over to the board, humming.  
"This better not be a Billy Joel week," Cook muttered.  
"Power!" Mr Schue stepped back from the board, smiling at the group triumphantly. "In the face of fear, we need to own power. I want you to pick a song that makes you feel powerful, and perform it by the end of the week."   
"Mr Schuester, if you don't mind, I'd like to go first," Freddie said, standing up.   
"Oh- yeah! Absolutely, Fregley! Take the stage!"  
Freddie signalled to the piano player, who picked out a sheet of paper from his briefcase.   
The opening notes started, and Freddie began to sing, eyes locked on Effy.

"Beauty queen of only eighteen  
She had some trouble with herself  
He was always there to help her  
She always belonged to someone else"  
Cook shuffled uncomfortably.   
"I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door, I've had you so many times but somehow I want more"  
Emily glanced over at Naomi for a second, then looked away, cheeks burning.   
"I don't mind spending every day  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain"   
Pandora started singing along, headbanging awkwardly, Thomas smiling at her fondly.  
"Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile, and she will be loved, and she will be loved"   
Emily looked over at Effy, whose face was blank.   
"I know where you hide alone in your car, know all of the things that make you who you are. I know that goodbye means nothing at all, comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls"

Cook stormed out, and the piano player stopped suddenly, confused.   
Everyone sat in awkward silence.  
"Okay," Will said eventually, "Fred, that was great, but it wasn't really the work assignment..."  
Freddie kept his eyes on Effy. "Doesn't matter. I think I've said what I need to."  
In the back, JJ coughed awkwardly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics from this scene are from Hayley Kiyoko's "Gravel to Tempo"

"I'm not gay," Emily whispered to herself.  
She was looking in her mirror, at 4am, on a school night.  
"You've never really had Girl friends other than Katie, so it's just that."  
She searched her own eyes in her reflection.  
She couldn't be gay. That would mean the little Em her parents loved, the Emily who Katie had inside jokes with, was different. Hiding. A monster. Besides, she didn't know anyone who was gay, other than the guy who worked with her mum. It wasn't real.   
But when she lay back in bed, closed her eyes and saw blue eyes and blonde hair, it was harder to convince herself.

"Hey, Emily."  
Emily turned, and saw JJ. The anxiety she had from hearing her name had started to calm since she'd joined the New Directions. She didn't exactly have a best friend, but she had some jokes with Pandora and Thomas, and JJ was pretty cool.   
"Hey, JJ. What's up?"�"Have you picked a song for Power week?"  
"No. I don't know, most of the music I listen to is the stuff Katie listens to, and most of that... doesn't make me feel so powerful. A guy, maybe. But no. I haven't."  
"Me neither. I guess I wanted to ask you if you'd like to work on something together?"�"Us?" Emily was surprised, and disappointed in some way. Maybe she'd hoped someone wanted to speak to her without any ulterior motives.   
"Yeah. I mean, why not? So, my place, after school?"  
"Yeah," Emily said, feeling some kind of nausea sweep over her. "Sure thing."

JJ's house was nice, but Emily only got to see it for all of 3 seconds before JJ made her go to his room. The first thing she noticed was a large diagram on his wall. Post-it notes, pictures, pins. She wanted to see it closer, but didn't want to invade JJ's privacy. She already had the feeling not many people came over.  
"Okay, so we have, uh, Beyonce, Katy Perry, Rihanna, uh, I'm not sure if you'd be okay to do male artists-"  
"Why wouldn't I?" Emily's head snapped up, her head going strangely fuzzy.  
"I don't know, maybe vocal range issues? Regardless, I think many female artists tend to have music that make me feel more powerful. I don't really... I can't relate to most guys, you know? I'm... different."  
Coming from anyone else, it would have sounded like a line, but Emily could see the tears that were threatening to escape his eyes.   
"Yeah. I get that," she said quietly, breathing out. 

By Wednesday, Emily was meant to perform, as well as Pandora, and she had finally picked a song. It had taken ages to find, but when she did find it, it felt perfect for her- inevitable.  
"Alright, Emily. Show us what you've got!" Mr Schuester said, gesturing to the area by the piano.   
She took a breath and walked over so that she was in the middle of the stage. She looked at JJ, who smiled encouragingly, and Pandora gave her a thumbs up.   
She could do this.

"Catch my name for kicks  
Thinking I would be right by your side  
I don't feel adequate, thinking I'm a monster in disguise  
We've gone down every list  
Stuck but I have got to begin to resist  
Caught up with the fact that life will be dark  
But can we handle being kids?" 

Emily began to feel comfortable enough to let the music flow through her, and she closed her eyes and gave in. 

"I'll do this my way  
Don't matter if I break  
I gotta be on my own  
Lost in this feeling  
Don't never need a reason  
I gotta be on my own"

In the audience, Pandora whistled, and opening her eyes, Emily could see that even Effy was smiling a little. 

"I'll do this my way  
Don't matter if I break  
I gotta be on my own  
Lost in this feeling  
Don't never need a reason  
I gotta be on my own"

As she let out the last note, the room clapped excitedly.   
"Hey, you didn't clap this much for me," Cook protested.  
"Cook, you picked the Thong Song," Naomi shot back. She turned to look at Emily, and gave her a little nod.   
"Well, that was definitely powerful!" Mr Schuester said, grinning. "I look forward to seeing you tomorrow, Naomi!"  
Emily glanced at Naomi again, who had suddenly gone a little quiet.   
"Yeah," Naomi muttered. "Me, too."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: homophobic and lesbophobic slurs!!

Emily caught up to Naomi on their way out of the choir room.  
"Hey," she said.  
Naomi glanced back. "Oh. Hey."  
"You wanna talk somewhere?" Emily asked, shyly. The strange fuzzy feeling she had before in JJ's room came back again.  
"I'm busy," Naomi said, and turned away.   
Emily nodded. "Right." 

She turned and made her way down the hall to her locker, trying not to cry.   
"Hey Em!"  
Emily turned, surprised by the sudden company.  
"Katie?"  
"Long time no see, right? What've you been doing? All this glee club shit?"  
"I-"  
"You know, Danny says only fags and dykes join those groups anyway. So you might want to steer clear, you know?"  
"Kat-"  
"I'm just looking out for you. I don't want people to think you're..." She gave Emily a once over, "Different."  
Emily gave up on trying to talk to her properly. "Okay. Noted."  
"You'll thank me later," Katie informed her, checking her fringe in Emily's locker mirror.   
"Kate, I have a question."  
She didn't know if Katie was the best person to come to, but hey, she'd never not had a boyfriend since she was seven!"  
"What's up," Katie said distantly, reapplying lipgloss.  
"How do you know when you... you know... like someone?"  
Katie stopped, frowning.  
"You mean, like a guy?"  
"I guess so," Emily said, trying to focus on her textbook.  
"Look, Em, in this department I have one piece of advice, yeah?"  
"Okay."  
"Jump him while you can, before he sees me," Katie cackled, pocketing her lipgloss.   
"Um. Right. Thanks, Kate."  
"Anytime Em," Katie smiled, strolling off. "Anytime."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick note: there is a tense change.

The next day came, but Naomi never showed up to school. Instead, JJ gave a surprisingly heart-tugging performance of Christina Algelira's "Beautiful."  
The rest of Power week passed, and no Naomi. Emily tried texting her, but got no reply.   
Finally monday came, and Emily showed up to the choir-room early, hoping to catch Mr Schue and find out where Naomi had been. Of course, you always find people when you stop looking. 

"Hey," Emily said, a little shyly, standing in the doorway, all too aware of her own body.  
"Hey."   
She was sitting in a seat, posture straight as always, staring aimlessly at the board. The word "Power" still remained.   
Emily debated what to do in her head, until Naomi sighed and moved her bag. "You can sit. If you want."  
"Okay," Emily said, moving over to her and sitting, feeling rigid and yet strangely... calm.   
"You missed power week," She said, just for something to say, and Naomi snorted a little next to her.  
"I'm not really that great at performing. Or having power."  
"What do you mean? You were up for the student election. You're top of the class."  
"Not that kind of power," Naomi said, quietly, and Emily sat in the unspoken words between them. 

She reached out, maybe to pat Naomi's hand, or something, she didn't know, but somehow Naomi moved and she found her face right up next to Naomi's. Her lips smelled of peach chapstick, and she was breathing slowly, eyes searching Emily's.   
It was so hard.  
All the tension, since that day in the hall, all the shameful dreams of faceless kisses and intertwined arms and legs... it was too hard not to give in.  
So she does.  
She kissed Naomi, and Naomi kissed her back, soft peach lips and soft skin, and everything seemed to fall into place, somehow.


	9. Chapter 9

The house was relatively quiet, and Emily assumed no one was home yet. Since Katie and Danny broke up, he stopped giving them rides home. Emily alternated between bussing and walking, on occasion she saw Naomi on the bus, but the way she looked away told Emily she wasn't looking for a companion. It had been three days since the kiss, and their weekly theme was ballads- Pandora had kicked it off with a Kelly Clarkson anthem, Thomas looking down gloomily.   
Emily made her way up the stairs, and opened the door, and was greeted by Katie's bare back, and parts of Freddie she had no desire to see.   
"Oh my god! Kate, what are you doing?"  
"I'm doing the great fucking olympic run, what does it look like i'm doing?"   
Freddie looks between them awkwardly. "Should I-"  
"No, you don't have to-"  
"I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" Freddie kissed Katie on the cheek, glanced at Emily again, and made his way out hurriedly. Emily sat on her bed, and Katie glared at her.  
"What the fuck, Em!"  
"You didn't tell me," Emily said quietly. Though why that was a surprise, she wasn't entirely sure. Katie never told her anything anymore. She just thought she'd at least tell her this.  
"It's none of your fucking business! And now you've done it again."  
"Done what?"  
"Gone and scared him off, because you're jealous. Pathetic."  
"Jealous?" Emily said, surprised.  
"Yes. You're jealous because I get more boys than you, I look better in clothes than you, even mum and dad-"  
"I'm not jealous of you Kate-"  
"That's what this whole thing is about-"  
"What thing?"   
Katie turned and looked Emily in the eyes. "You know what thing."  
"Kate I-"  
Katie reached under Emily's bed and pulled out the locked box. Emily's heart sunk. Fuck.  
"James told me what was in there."  
"Katie- it's not-"  
"I know what it is, Em. You want attention."  
"What? No-"  
"You're not gay," Katie said, staring Emily in the eyes, with the kind of heartlessness she'd never expect from her twin.   
"You're just stupid."


	10. Chapter 10

Emily called JJ, because it wasn't like anyone else was going to pick up. Especially Naomi. They went to JJ's house, and Emily noticed a paper on her way up the stairs. A medical paper. She didn't try to look, but she saw the words "autism spectrum."   
"Emily?" JJ asked, anxiously, from the top of the stairs.  
"Shit. JJ-"  
"Shit, shit shit. I- shit. I shouldn't- shit-"  
"JJ, it's okay, I don't-"  
"Shit, shit, shit-"  
"JJ!"   
JJ looked up, surprised by the unusual snappy tone.   
"I'm sorry," he said. "I just... i know what other people say... about me... what they call me..."  
Emily winced a little, remembering the conversation she heard between two girls in Maths, regarding JJ.   
"I'm a freak, psycho, nutcase, crazy, nutjob, lunatic, retar-"  
"JJ, calm down," Emily said, grabbing his shoulder.   
JJ seemed to deflate a little and sat down on the stairs. Emily joined him.   
"It's hard telling people things about yourself, isn't it?"  
"I'd give anything to be normal for just one day," JJ said, staring out at nothing.  
"JJ, I'm going to tell you something."  
"Okay," JJ said uncertainly.  
"It's- I never told anyone..."   
JJ stayed silent, expectantly.   
"I'm gay. I think. I mean, I like girls. I like... a girl."  
"Wait. Really?" JJ asked, looking surprised.  
"Yeah."  
"I never... you don't look gay," he said.  
"What's a gay supposed to look like, then?" Emily asked him, the question coming out a bit snippily.   
"I dunno... short hair, men's shirts, I guess? You're just very... girly. I wouldn't expect..."  
"Yeah. I get it," Emily sighed. "Doesn't matter, anyhow. Not like anything's going to happen."  
"Why not?"   
"She doesn't feel the same. And I'm, y'know, making peace with that, it's just..."  
"Who?"  
Emily looked down and let out a breath.   
She couldn't expose anything, make anything bad for Naomi.  
"Like I said, doesn't matter."


	11. Chapter 11

"Effy," Mr Schue said, entering the choir-room. "Haven't heard much from you. Anything you'd like to sing?"  
Effy looked up, mildly bored. "I'm more of a sway in the background type."  
"O...kay. Well, anyone else?"  
Emily looked down. She'd found a song she thought would work with the weekly assignment, but she was hesitant about doing it.  
"JJ? Em?"  
JJ shook his head violently. He'd been becoming more isolated since Cook and Freddie had started fighting- presumably over Effy, who didn't appear to care much either way. On the surface, anyway.   
"Emily? What do you say?"  
Emily looked up, and then across. Naomi was sitting with Pandora, and not paying much attention.   
She could make her pay attention.   
"Okay."  
She shakily stood up and whispered to the piano player, who shrugged and pulled out sheet music.   
She closed her eyes as the notes started, and became immersed in the words.   
"Baby really hurt me, crying in the taxi,  
says he made the big mistake of dancing in  
my storm... says it was poison,"  
Naomi was still not looking over yet, Emily noted as she opened her eyes.   
"So I guess I'll go home, into the arms   
of the girl that I love, the only love i haven't  
screwed up, she's so hard to please, but she's a forest fire."  
She was definitely watching now, looking slightly alarmed.  
Dissecting the lyrics of the song, Emily had found that the part about the "girl she loved" was actually a metaphor for herself. So she opted to leave out the next part that explained that.  
"they say, you're a little much for me,  
you're a liability, get you wild make you leave,  
i'm a little much for everyone," Emily closed her eyes, "they're gonna watch me disappear into the sun, you're all gonna watch me disappear into the... sun..." she held the music inside her for as long as she could as the last notes faded, and everyone clapped. Everyone but Naomi, who was watching her and biting her lip.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i mean this is pretty much a retelling of the lake scene so

Emily was getting her bike, when she heard her name. "Em."  
She turned, and saw Naomi walking towards her.   
"I was just... getting my bike.. and I saw you," she explained, awkwardly, doing the lip bite thing again.  
"Oh. Hey, Naomi."  
"I, um. Your performance was really good."  
"Thanks."  
"Look, Em, about the-"  
"I get it, Naomi. You're not interested. I'll get over it."  
Naomi stayed quiet for a moment, then gestured to her bike. "Should probably..."  
"Yeah," Emily replied, turning away. "Bye."

Her phone rang in the late afternoon, and Katie was still giving her the cold shoulder.  
She checked the caller ID.  
"Naomi?"  
"Can we go somewhere? Anywhere."  
They biked down to Emily's favourite spot- by a lake, peaceful, and lovely scenery. They didn't talk about what happened, they just stripped to their underwear and swam until it got dark. Emily felt relaxed, at home.   
She hadn't brought her phone, so she didn't know how late it was when they built the fire to keep warm. She didn't know how late it was when they started smoking. She didn't know how late it was when Naomi leaned over, and kissed her.   
Something came over Emily, and quickly, they were kissing harder than the last time, hands straying, bodies intertwined, just like her dreams, only it was real, and Naomi was underneath her, a real, breathing, being, with two eyes dark with lust, and a beating heart.   
Emily didn't know how late it was when they fell asleep, afterwards. She knew that she slept better than she had in months. 

Emily was woken by birds, and found an empty space next to her. She looked over and saw Naomi wheeling her bike away.   
"Naomi."   
She raced to keep up with her, but Naomi was silent. "Naomi, say something! I know you. I know you need someone to want you. Well, I do want you. So be brave, and want me back."  
She knew these words were true, unlike what she'd said back at school. She wasn't getting over it. She was falling for Naomi.   
Who was walking away.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics are from "Don't You Want Me" by the Human League. Inspired by the equally as awful pairing of rachel\blaine on glee.

A few days passed before Emily heard from Naomi again. She hadn't shown up to glee club, and had therefore missed Thomas's tear-evoking rendition of "Total Eclipse Of the Heart."  
On the next tuesday, Emily was starting to give up. Sex meant nothing, right? Look at Cook and Effy.  
But her heart still ached for more.  
Mr Schue had asked the club to partner off and perform duets, to connect with each other and create trust before sectionals, and Emily was honestly considering just singing with JJ at that point. She walked in to find something horrifying.  
Cook stood at the front of the room, swaggering around with a cheeky smile- and Naomi was by the piano, smiling. 

"You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I met you" Cook crooned.  
Naomi stood. "I picked you out, I shook you up, and turned you around, turned you into someone new"  
"Don't. Don't you want me? You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me."  
"Don't. Don't you want me?  
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me."  
They faced each other.  
"Don't you want me, baby? Don't you want me? Oh! Don't you want me, baby?  
Don't you want me? Oh!"

Emily felt sick.  
She felt angry.  
Naomi was the one who leaned in that night.  
Naomi was the one who called her up.  
Naomi was... the one.  
She turned and left the room, the door slamming on her way out, tears threatening to escape before she could.


	14. Chapter 14

Emily had a plan for her duet.  
It involved lying, but it did have a chance of working out.   
Emily strode into the choir room, wearing a yellow sundress and cardigan. She usually wore stockings, but opted out this time. She wanted this to be perfect.  
JJ got up and stood, remembering his queue.

"What I want you've got, and it might be hard to handle  
Like the flame that burns the candle  
The candle feeds the flame, yeah, yeah."  
Emily smiled.   
"What I've got's full stock, of thoughts and dreams that scatter  
Then you pull them all together  
And how I can't explain, oh, yeah  
Well, well you, you make my dreams come true."

Emily got too caught up in singing to notice Naomi leave the room. 

"I'm down on my daydream  
Oh, that sleepwalk should be over by now, I know 'bout you, yeah,   
yeah, you make my dreams come true."

The room was silent for a moment before Mr Schue started clapping. Pandora joined in, smiling obliviously. Emily's eyes scanned the crowd, realising Naomi had left, and Effy caught her eye, giving her a knowing smile.

The high of the performance wore off after Emily got home, and she crashed down on her bed, feeling a sudden mess of anger, confusion and regret. She realised no one was home. She could do what she needed to do.

"Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you  
Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new  
Flashback, warm nights almost left behind  
Suitcases of memories, time after... sometimes you picture me, I'm walking too far ahead  
You're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said  
Then you say, "Go slow", I fall behind  
The second hand unwinds- if you're lost, you can look and you will find me, time after time.  
If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting, time after time."

She was reaching the end when she heard a door open and jumped.   
That was the thing with music, and Emily.  
She got so lost in it. She could say things with music. It made things make more sense.   
Then Katie came barging in with shopping bags, and Emily's moment of peaceful reflection was over.  
"What'd you get?"  
Katie didn't respond.  
"Come on, Kate."  
Kate hummed a little, unwrapping something.  
"Katie, this is immature. Just talk to me!"  
Katie turned around, and Emily gasped.  
She had a horrifically obvious black eye.  
"Kate- what happened?"  
"That bitch," Katie spat. For the first time in a while, her anger wasn't directed at Emily, and Emily was just happy to have her twin talk to her again.  
"Who? Katie, who did this?"  
Katie turned and looked Emily in the eyes.   
"Naomi Campbell."


	15. Chapter 15

The rest of the week was a mix of glares, conflicted pining, and confusion. Why would Naomi hit Katie? It didn't make sense. Unless... Katie said something.  
She'd been known to snicker about Naomi behind her in the halls. She could have done something, said something...  
But what?

Effy took the stage for the first time on Thursday, surprising everyone with a duet of "Need You Now" with Freddie. Her voice was slightly husky, from cigarettes, Emily suspected. As everyone applauded, the door opened.  
"Mr Schuester? I'd like to sign up for glee club."  
Emily turned, confused. She knew that voice anywhere.  
"Katie?"  
Katie smiled. "Surprise."  
"I thought you said-"  
"Yeah, whatever." She took a step towards Emily and whispered, 'I want Freddie back."   
Katie pulled back and smiled her charming, sickly sweet smile at Mr Schuester.   
"Well- sure! We'd be happy to have you, Katie!"  
Emily looked towards the back of the room, where Naomi and Cook sat.   
She looked unbothered, picking at something on her skirt.  
Why wasn't she more pissed off that Katie joined? Considering the fight they'd had... supposedly had.  
Emily sighed and leaned back. If she couldn't trust her twin sister, who could she trust?

On friday afternoon, the New Directions sat in the choir room, unfocused and bored. Mr Schue had to duck out to meet his wife and her doctor, to see their baby.   
Pandora was chewing gum, Thomas was watching her sadly, Effy and Freddie were together, inseperable as they had become lately, JJ was doing some homework, and Cook was whispering something to Naomi.   
Emily was trying not to watch them, but it was hard. She didn't know if they were together- Cook didn't really "date" people- but it hurt to see Naomi so close, and not be able to talk to her.  
At least now she knew where she and Naomi stood.

The next week, Mr Schue came in with a stormy face and stormier attitude.   
"What's wrong?" JJ asked, anxiously.   
Mr Schue sighed and turned to face them.   
"Terri, my wife..."  
"The pregnant one?" Katie quipped.  
"Well, as it turns out... no."  
The room went quiet.  
"Wait- did she- did the baby-"  
"There was no baby," Mr Schue said, his voice quiet and grave in tone. "She thought she was pregnant, and when she realised she wasn't she kept lying to me. I'm filing for divorce soon."  
The room was quiet again, until Pandora broke it.  
"So, does that mean no challenge for the week, Mr Schue?"


	16. Chapter 16

Emily closed her locker door, and jumped.   
"Sorry," Effy said, not sounding sorry at all. She was leaning by her door casually, Freddie not in sight."  
"'S alright," Emily muttered, picking up her book, which she had dropped.  
Effy kept watching her.  
Emily could feel her eyes on her, and eventually she turned.  
"What?"  
Effy raised an eyebrow. "Didn't say anything."  
"No- but- why are you staring at me? What-"  
"What are you going to do about Naomi?" Effy asked, as casually as if she asked what classes Emily was taking.   
"I- what? Did- how..."  
"You aren't exactly subtle. Anyone can see the way you two stare at each other."  
Emily rested her head against her locker and closed her eyes.  
"Why do you care?"  
"I don't know," Effy replied. "But I... do."  
"It's not going to happen. Naomi-"  
"Naomi wants you just as much as you want her, Emily. But she isn't going to be brave without a push."  
Emily frowned. "Look, we already-"  
"Em. If you want her, go fight for her. And don't hide. You have a good voice. You're every bit as good as Katie. Don't let her push you around."  
As Emily left, she noticed slightly cracked skin on Effy's knuckles.

Emily knew Naomi's address, and she waited by the doorstep until Naomi arrived.   
After about 15 minutes, she came over with her bag, then stopped.   
"Emily?"  
"Hi."  
"What are you doing here?"  
"Not giving up," Emily said, and she could feel her body shaking. She hoped Naomi couldn't hear it in her voice.   
"Why-"  
"I like you, Naomi," Emily said, standing up, brushing dust off her stockings. "I'm not going to try and escape it anymore. I can't. It's too hard."  
Naomi opened her mouth then closed it, her eyes melting into Emily's. She stepped forward, and their faces were nearly touching. 

She kissed her, deep and passionately, as if releasing every unspoken glance over the last week. Emily kissed her back, and Naomi unlocked her door, and they tumbled into the house, laughing awkwardly as they made their way to Naomi's room.  
Laughing again as Emily fell down onto her bed, and as Naomi joined her, lips desperately searching hers, heart racing, kissing Emily's neck, right on the pulse point.   
And history repeats itself.


	17. Chapter 17

After, they were quiet, staying in bed and soaking in the moment.   
"Why'd you do a duet with JJ?"" Naomi asked, a frown on her face, looking uncertain about even asking. Emily knew the feeling.  
"Why'd you do one with Cook? Are you guys..."  
"No. We kissed, once, but that's all. He's a friend."  
Emily's eyes searched Naomi's.   
"So's JJ. A friend."  
Naomi smiled a little, fingers tracing Emily's arm.   
"Good."  
"And me?" Emily kept her eyes focused on Naomi.  
Naomi sighed.  
"I don't know. I don't know. Maybe this was a mistake."  
'It doesn't feel like a mistake," Emily said quietly, hurt.  
"I know," Naomi said, staring up at the ceiling. "That's the hard part."  
Emily turned over, and let out a breath. "So... what are we?"  
"I don't know," Naomi said, her voice small. "Maybe we should just be friends."  
Emily sat up, and felt around for her clothes.  
"What are you doing?"  
"You probably shouldn't be lying naked in bed with your friends," Emily snapped, hating herself for it, but hating Naomi a little in that moment.  
"Ems-"  
"Don't." She pulled her shirt on, and then her shoes.   
"Emily!"  
This time, Emily was the one leaving Naomi behind. And she was still the one feeling unbelievably broken.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> again, very similar to the dance scene in Katie and Emily's episode. but yeah  
> warning: homophobic slur.

The school prom was coming up, and Katie was going with Thomas, who seemed to be in Pandora's bad books. Emily agreed to go with JJ, and her parents got their perfect pictures of their perfect daughter and her perfect heterosexual date.  
It was cold outside, so they made their way in quickly, going in through the back doors to prepare for their performance. For some reason, the state of Ohio seemed to be starved of any performers, so Principal Figgins called upon the New Directions. They had a setlist including a duet by Effy and Freddie, a solo by Katie, and several Cook solos, with the girls as backup.

People started arriving, and the band launched into "Jessie's Girl," Cook smirking, ready to "rock the stage" as he had put it.  
A few songs in, it became evident that someone, or several someones, had snuck in a flask, and the crowd were actually singing along and dancing. Emily saw Stoner Brett making out with Brittany Pierce, which was nice.  
Emily, Katie and Cook's break came, and Emily made her way to the drinks table. Effy approached her.  
"You done anything about..."  
"I tried," Emily sighed. "I really did. But some things... you can't make something work just because you want it."  
Effy sighed.  
"So, I should probably talk to Katie about this, but. I wanted to say I'm sorry I lashed out at her. I was high, and... I'm sorry."  
"Wait, what?" Emily blinked at her.  
"You must've seen the bruise. Though Katie knows her makeup well, there's no covering up a shiner like that." Effy laughed a little.  
"Excuse me," Emily said, suddenly feeling disoriented. She staggered to the bathroom, and put the seat on a toilet down. She leaned forward, holding her head. What...  
"And then I said, I'm Katie Fucking Fitch!" Laughter filled the bathroom suddenly.  
Emily stood up, but by the time she left the stall, Katie was gone. 

She walked out to the dance floor, where Freddie and Effy were singing "Arms" by Christina Perri, and up to Katie.  
"Ems!" Katie smiled, but was interrupted by Emily slapping her in the face.  
"Wh-"  
"You bitch!" Emily yelled.  
Katie glared at her, and lunged. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"  
Emily lay on the auditorium floor, sticky with punch and shoeprints. "You fucking- you said Naomi-"  
Katie's eyes widened in understanding, and then she rolled them.  
"Whatever. I just wanted you away from that dyke."  
"What-"  
"I saw her, making a move on you in the choir room, a few weeks ago."  
Emily steadied herself, and stood up, bracing herself on the table bearing drinks.  
"Katie, she wasn't-"  
"I know you're not like that, Em. I know you."  
"No," Emily said quietly. "You don't."  
The duet ended, and Katie was up to go up next. She stayed, eyes locked on Emily. "Then tell me, Em. You never tell me anything."  
Her voice was softer, and slightly pleading. Emily looked over Katie's shoulder, and saw Effy, Freddie, Cook, and Naomi.  
Naomi.  
She looked back to Katie.  
"I can't fix this. Okay? I like girls. No. I like a girl. No," she corrected, looking back at Naomi. "I love her."  
Katie stayed silent, eyes on Emily, and in the background, Emily could see Naomi's hand reach out. She was dressed beautifully, and her hair was feathered slightly.  
"Okay?"  
Katie stared back at Emily for a moment, then said nothing as Emily stepped away, towards Naomi.


	19. epilogue

The next week of school was the week before sectionals, and Emily was walking to her locker. She got stopped by a tall latina girl.   
"Emily Fitch?"  
"Uh, yeah?"  
The girl took a breath.   
"I don't usually do the whole feelings thing or whatever, but anyway. I wanted to say that... you've really helped me. You know, dancing with your girlfriend at prom, made me realise... I think I'm in love with Brittany."  
"Oh. Oh! That's, uh, great."  
"So, thank you, I guess," the girl said, starting to back up.   
Emily watched her as she walked off, holding her books to her Cheerio Uniform covered chest. What had happened felt nice, but she didn't know if she wanted to be someone's hero. She just wanted to live, and to be with Naomi.   
"Ems."  
Emily turned and smiled, seeing her girlfriend.   
Maybe she could be one person's hero.


	20. Chapter 20

PART TWO: SECTIONALS

Pandora Moon sat in her seat, watching endless trees out the window.  
"How much longer did Schue say we'd be, Eff?"   
"I don't know," Effy replied, sitting with Freddie, across the aisle.   
Pandora sighed huffily, looking around the bus.   
Naomi and Emily were sharing headphones and laughing at the back, Cook and JJ were laughing at something on Cook's phone, and Thomas was talking with Katie.  
Pandora watched them, sadly.   
When she met Thomas, at a bus station, he was so sweet. They had been so sweet together. Then there was the mystery girl he confessed he'd cheated on Pandora with.   
How could he change so drastically? How could he not care at all?   
Pandora frowned and plugged her earphones into her phone. If they were going to take some time, she might as well not spend it moping. Like her grandmother said- no use crying over spilled milk. Even if that spilled milk was sweet, and had a gentle french accent and donuts. 

About 15 minutes into the ride, Mr Schue clapped his hands.   
"Come on guys, what do you say we have a song?"  
Effy raised her eyebrows.  
"Oh, come on, it's tradition!" he laughed. "Emily? JJ? Pandora?"  
Pandora looked away.  
Emily shrugged, and started singing. 

"Won't you come see about me? I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby..." 

Soon the whole bus was chanting, Effy laughing into Freddie's shoulder, Naomi pulling Emily in for a kiss.

'Don't you forget about me, don't don't don't don't, DON'T you forget about me!"

Pandora looked back at Thomas again. He was singing along.   
'Don't worry, Thomas,' she thought. 'I haven't forgotten about you.'


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics from Calvin Harris and Rihanna's song This Is What You Came For, and Britney Spears' Hold It Against Me

The New Directions stood in a huddle, backstage.  
"Okay team, we can do this," Mr Schuester said, encouragingly.  
"I don't see you in any fuckin' tights," Cook said.  
"You, you can do this," Mr Schue corrected. "And they're not tights, they're- never mind."  
"What if we lose?" JJ said.  
"Winning isn't the point," Mr Schue said, at the same time as Katie said, "We fucking better win."  
The announcer's voice came.   
"And now, from Mckinley High School, The New Directions!"

Vocal Adrenaline had been good.   
They had been very good.  
In fact, with their heart pounding, jaw dropping cover of Queen's "Somebody to Love," Pandora was pretty sure that them getting anything but first place would be a scam. But she had faith in this little glee club.

The New Directions setlist wasn't anything game-changing.  
But they had heart, and they intended to show that.  
The light on the stage focused on just Katie, as she sang the opening lines to the first song.

"Baby, this is what you came for  
Lightning strikes every time she moves  
And everybody's watching her  
But she's looking at you."

The curtains opened, revealing the rest of the group behind her, backing her up.  
Cook came forward.

"Baby, this is what you came for  
Lightning strikes every time she moves  
And everybody's watching her  
But she's looking at you."

Katie looked genuinely happy, Pandora observed, for at least a flash, in the blur of the performance.   
She was smiling, she had energy. She cared. Which is more than what Pandora had expected from her before she joined the New Directions.

"We go fast with the game we play  
Who knows why it's gotta be this way  
We say nothing more than we need  
I say, "Your place," when we leave."

The rest of the group came up and banded together to sing.

"Baby, this is what you came for  
Lightning strikes every time she moves  
And everybody's watching her  
But she's looking at you."

They finished to brief applause, which quietened as they transitioned to the next piece, which was a full group performance.  
Pandora was set to take the lead for the first verse. 

"Hey, over there, please, forgive me  
If I'm comin' on too strong, hate to stare  
But, you're winnin', and they're playin' my favorite song  
So, come here, a little closer  
Wanna whisper in your ear, make it clear  
A little question, wanna know just how you feel."

Pandora did her best to not watch Thomas during her solo, and focused on the music as the rest of the group joined in for the chorus.

"If I said my heart was beating loud  
If we could escape the crowd somehow  
If I said I want your body now  
Would you hold it against me?  
'Cause, you feel like paradise  
And I need a vacation tonight  
So, if I said I want your body now  
Would you hold it against me?"

The crowd was going crazy at this point. Pandora gave the credit to Britney. 

"If I said my heart was beating loud  
If we could escape the crowd somehow  
If I said I want your body now  
Would you hold it against me?  
'Cause, you feel like paradise  
And I need a vacation tonight  
So, if I said I want your body now  
Would you hold it against me?" 

They stayed in place, signalling the end of their performance, and the crowd applauded. Not as loudly as they did for Vocal Adrenaline.   
But still loud.


	22. Chapter 22

They didn't win.  
They came second, though, which meant they were qualified for regionals.  
On the bus ride back to school, everyone was throwing around song suggestions for regionals.  
"Bohemian Rhapsody!" JJ yelled.  
"Mate, how the fuck are we gonna pull that off?" Cook scoffed.  
"I vote more Britney!" Katie said.  
"Wonderwall!" Freddie said, and everyone looked at him.  
"What?" He shrugged. "It's a good song."  
"All very good ideas, guys," Mr Schuester interrupted, "but remember, regionals is in another six months. You have other things, schoolwork, social lives, I assume..."  
"Whatever," Katie said, "We're just excited!"  
"I get that, and it's great! Just don't burn yourselves out."  
The bus went quiet, then Emily's eyes lit up.   
"We could do Cyndi Lauper!"

School felt so insignificant to Pandora now, since she joined glee club, and especially since they won second place.   
She decided to throw her all into the music. If that meant dropping a few classes...

"Panda?"  
"Hey, Cook. I was wondering. Is there a party anywhere tonight?"  
"Uh- I mean, probably, why? If you wanna get baked you're gonna have to go to someone el-"  
"I want to drink."  
"Oh. Sure, meet me at this address..."

Pandora woke up the next morning, eyes itching, and her mouth dry.   
Next to her bed was a half empty bottle of vodka, and the other side next to her was-   
"Jesus Christ!"  
"Cook?"


	23. Chapter 23

Cook's eyes adjusted to the light.   
"Wait- Panda?"  
"Oh, shit biscuit. Oh, no.."  
"Panda-"  
"Bloody hell. Fuck! Bloody fu-"  
"Panda, we didn't fuck," Cook said lazily.  
Pandora spun around. Cook was shirtless, but his pants were still on.  
She looked under the covers.   
She was wearing her underwear.  
"Why am I in my-"  
"I think you got too hot," Cook said. "I mean, not like that... or maybe i did mean it like that." He laughed.  
"You're vile," Pandora said, trying to put her shirt on without Cook being able to see her bra.  
"Nothing I didn't see already," Cook told Pandora, taking a swig from an unlabelled bottle.  
Pandora cursed under her breath.   
She turned to Cook.  
"None of this happened. Nothing happened. Okay?"  
Cook looked confused.  
"I mean... nothing did happen... unless you want it-"  
"Cook! Seriously! Just don't tell anyone."  
"Tell anyone what?"  
"That I woke up in a bed with you."  
"Ah. So, don't tell Thomas."  
Pandora went quiet.  
"You need to get over him, you know? Get some new dick, move on."  
Pandora sighed. "Can you please just go?"   
"Whatever." Cook stood up, staggering slightly, and pulled on his t-shirt, then grimaced, seeing vomit on it.   
"Nice, Panda."  
"What? It wasn't me."  
"I can handle my liquor. You've drunk, what, twice?"  
Pandora frowned. "That's why I called you."  
"What, to get shit-faced and puke on my shirt?"  
"To do something. Just do something for once. Get in trouble."  
Cook smiled. "Well, you definitely came to the right guy."


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: suicide attempt mention.

When Pandora got to school, Effy wasn't there.   
Neither was Freddie.  
She found Katie in Calculus.   
"Do you know where Eff is?"  
Katie bit her lip and looked a little sick. "No one told you?"  
"What?"  
"Panda..."  
"What? Just tell me!"  
"Effy had a... some kind of breakdown. Psychotic depression supposedly. I mean, I knew she'd been drinking more, but I thought things were fine, she and Freddie were so good, you know? And now..."  
"What happened?"  
Katie took a breath. "Panda, she cut her wrist, and..."  
People say that when you hear drastic news, you freeze.   
That's what Pandora felt herself do. She felt sick, as Katie was reassuring her that she'd be fine, and her head was spinning.  
This wasn't real. It couldn't be...

Pandora and Katie went to visit Effy together, and Pandora had prepared a song. It wasn't in the usual New Directions repertoire, but she hoped it would make Effy smile.  
"Some days are disasters, that you wish could just end  
Other days are bastards, just like a bad boyfriend  
But it makes me feel much worse than this  
To see a face masked with a frown  
I'm not telling you to smile, but don't be down.  
Don't be down, my friend, don't do your wrist any harm  
You don't belong on a funny farm  
And I'd rather see you in a party dress than in a hospital gown  
I'm not telling you to smile, but don't be down."  
It worked, and Effy smiled, but Pandora felt bad, looking at her best friend, in a hospital gown and in a bed, wondering how she could let her get to that point.  
She needed to get serious again. Last night had been fun, but some things were more important.  
Things like this.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics are to the song I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz.

"Effy!" Mr Schue exclaimed, smiling. "Glad to see you."  
"Thanks, Mr Schue," Effy said, and it didn't have the sarcastic edge it might have before.  
She smiled at him, a little.  
"I think we can all say we're happy you're safe, but Freddie and a few others wanted to do something for you."  
Pandora took her place beside Emily, backing Freddie, who was looking deeply into Effy's eyes.

"When I look into your eyes, It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise, well, there's so much they hold  
And just like them old stars, I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are, how old is your soul?"

Effy watched them, eyes glistening.

"Well, I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up.  
And when you're needing your space, to do some navigating  
I'll be here patiently waiting, to see what you find  
'Cause even the stars they burn, some even fall to the earth  
We've got a lot to learn, God knows we're worth it  
No, I won't give up."

When they finished, Effy smiled slightly.  
"Thank you. I, uh, I've been talking with my doctor, doctor Foster, and I think things are... going to be okay."  
Everyone smiled and formed a group hug.  
No one noticed Freddie's uncertainty.


	26. Chapter 26

The church was much brighter than it had the right to be on this day.  
"Does anyone have anything they'd like to say about Freddie?" the funeral director asked.  
Effy sat, face stony. Cook started to get up, but before he could, Mr Schuester stood.   
"Freddie Mcclair is the kind of student... you never forget. He was kind, brave, but above all, the best thing about Fregley was his love for people. Frank was the kind of man who would go to the ends of the earth for the people he loved- Effy, Karen, I believe Francis would have even done it for me. I'm so disappointed he won't be able to lend his talent to the glee club, which is what i mostly use students for, but Fred... Fred was special. Rest in peace, this hero. My son."  
"Um.... okay," Cook said.  
"Now I'm gonna tell you guys something about Freddie."  
Mr Schue sat down, clearly disappointed that people weren't falling at his feet for making something all about himself.  
"Freddie was a tosser. Stupid in love, but he did it well." Cook paused and sniffed a little. "Yeah. If I can say anything about Freds, he loved well."  
Pandora reached out to Effy.  
"Freds..." he paused again, looking at the back of the room. "The three musketeers ain't the same without you. It's fucking twisted."  
The funeral director looked as though he might say something, but decided against it.  
"You're my best mate, yeah? Always."  
As Cook sat back down, Effy smiled a little. For the first time in weeks.  
Pandora kept her hand holding Effy's through the rest of the service.

John Foster had been good in a fight, but not at covering his tracks.  
He ran away, shortly after his arrest, but was found, and his trial was next week.   
Everything was different.   
The choir-room felt sadly empty, and the only thing keeping the glee club together was the memory of Freddie.  
The week before regionals, Effy came into the room with a piece of paper.  
"What's this?" Mr Schuester asked, as she passed it to him.  
"It's Freddie's favourite songs. Can we do these, for regionals, do you think?"  
Mr Schue sighed and turned to face the students.  
"I was thinking of pulling out of regionals. With everything that's happened... Frenchy..."  
"His name was Freddie," JJ said, suddenly, surprising everyone.  
He stood.  
"His name was Freddie. And he was one of my best friends. And he would want us to do this. He'd want us to celebrate everything this club has done for us. To celebrate life. Even if he can't be part of it."  
Mr Schuester turned to the rest of the group, who all nodded.   
Pandora turned to Thomas, and laced her fingers in his, for the first time in too long.  
He turned to her, and he nodded.   
"For Freddie."

The End.   
(at least for now.)


End file.
